last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
