You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
