Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize