If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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