I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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