i just google imaged poop.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
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Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
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WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I have post one night stand depression
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