i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
