fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
