I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
