His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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