oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
