my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
