Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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