Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize