i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
