I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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