Too much gin, very little bucket
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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