When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
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