Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
