I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
