Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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