Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
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You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
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I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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