i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
just found out that she named her cat after me.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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