You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
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