Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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