so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
