I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
