if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
