well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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