I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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