I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
