I cockslap morals
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
