every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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