I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
