remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
A+ Viking dick
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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