Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
