some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
