I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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