She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i came on her dog
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Are we still banned from the library?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
there is glitter all over my balls
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
