if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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