I think i peed on brittanys purse
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
