we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
