I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
