PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
