I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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