They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
