There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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