Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
