It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
