He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize