If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
