JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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