she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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