Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize