Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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