'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She announced her abortion via fbk
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
