in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
