Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
