i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
