She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
