I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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