I'm lost and stupid without you.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My vagina just recognized that song.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
