Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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