I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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