I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
be right there i have to get my cape
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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